I am No Longer Happy in This Marriage. What Do I Do? PLEASE ADVICE A FELLOW BLOG READER

I’ve been married for 12 years and a mum of three boys.
In our compound, church and work place, people see my husband and I as a lovely couple. The truth is we argue a lot but people don’t know. I work and have been independent for some years.
I spend all my income on the kids and running the home which includes paying the maid. I don’t even buy myself lunch at work. I bear the financial burden of fixing the cars when they are down. I even get advances at work just to make sure that our bills are paid. I clothe the kids and myself.

Meanwhile, after I paid in two instalments to replace my problematic old phone, my husband told me that I am I wasting money. Whereas he keeps buying latest gadgets never mind no the financial pressure we are faced with at that time.
He always puts his interest first as he drinks, sleeps around in night clubs with male friends, not female, male friends. How did I know? I’ve tailed him several times. He’s so reckless that sometimes, he would park his car and spend the night at a filling station when he’s too drunk.
From my salary, I tried to save some money in an account so I can advance my education, but he wasn’t happy about it. He talked to the extent that I had to close that account and used the money to fund bills at home.
Last Saturday, after a function we had for his friend, he sat me down at home that night and told me some nasty things. He said that I have a bad attitude, can’t iron for him, can’t cook, I’m bossy, and I behave like I’m the man of the house, and that I don’t encourage him. He said that I don’t appreciate him, do I  think that I can find a better man than him? Lots of stuffs were said. I told him that he should check his behaviour over the years to see may be he has contributed to it?
He told me he is tired of me, that I think I’m special, that I think I’m always right, and that there are better women out there. Since Saturday last week, he hasn’t called me, he doesn’t tell me where he goes, and  comes in late.
I’ve suggested going for counselling together but he’s refused. I don’t know what else to do and how to move on from here. What would you do if you had a husband like mine? Please advice me on what to do.??